Bad Inventions: Hand iPhone Case

Ummm...

There’s an old saying that goes “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Well, for this case, “hell” is holding a severed hand every time you try to make a phone call, and the “good intentions” are all the reasons this severed hand replica should comfort you instead of completely creeping you out.

I’m not buying it. Let’s go through the many horrible things about this product together, shall we?

First of all, the case only comes in two styles: woman and child. You know the way a young child curls their tiny fingers around yours almost automatically? Just imagine that feeling, but replace it with cold, stiff, molded plastic. And the way your girlfriend or wife holds your hand and looks into your eyes? Take that image, remove the person you love, leave their severed hand, and then turn it into cold, stiff, molded plastic.

Collect all 2!

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Secondly, the website claims “the case is full of such love, because it’s made from real women and children.” My poor translation aside, just replace the word “case” with “lampshade” or “couch” and see if that sentence’s meaning doesn’t change a bit.

Third, there are a few pictures of what appear to be a man slipping a ring onto the hand, marrying it (the severed hand, that is), and cuddling it against his face. I… I don’t really want to get into this one. It’s just… no.

And last of all, the thing that really gets to me — aside from the whole “cut-off hand of a woman or child” thing — is that it just isn’t a good product. Most of the pictures shown actually have the phone sitting face-down on a variety of surfaces, even though the case only covers the back and sides of the phone.

So handy!

I will say, though, I really love the fail picture of the guy trying to cram the whole mess into his back pocket.

So convenient!