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Olde Tyme Techcitement: The Erotica Phone (Possibly NSFW)

Time for Olde Tyme Techcitement, where we take a look back at technology relics. It’s basically your grampa talking about the good old days, but sooner and totally more reasonable than dumb boring stories about how all this used to be farmland.

Today’s relic is a novelty telephone from 1984. It’s so sophisticated, you guys. It was sculptured by a European artist. They don’t say who the artist was, but what a talent!

I'm afraid to ask where the microphone holes are.

I'm afraid to ask where the microphone holes are.

 

From the description on the phone’s box:

The Erotica phone makes any conversation a sensual experience.

Here’s a phone that’s both functional and fabulous. Superbly sculptured by a European artist, it’s a masterpiece of lightweight, micro-processor technology. The erotica phone plugs into any wall jack and is fully guaranteed. The quantity is limited so order now. It costs only $69.95 (plus $5.00 for shipping and handling) to own the ultimate “conversation piece.”

I’m trying to imagine who would have bought this thing. The company was clearly angling for the sophisticated playboy who would display it on his mahogany desk next to a box of Cuban cigars and a glass of cognac.

I have a feeling, though, that the Oral Sex Phone only went on display on cheap coffee tables in the basements of sleazy guys with moist palms.

You know what? I doubt even they bought it.

(via copyranter)




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Matt Algren

About Matt Algren

Matt is a self-taught tinkerer who's fallen madly in love with social media and neato Android stuff. He writes on an eight-year-old computer that constantly freezes up on him, leading him to teach the neighborhood kids many new swear words when he has his windows open. He's probably eating chocolate ice cream in his home in Southwest Ohio right now. It's delicious.