Culture, Future Tech, Science

NASA, I’m Breaking Up With You

It’s over. We’ve both known this was a long time coming. Things just feel stagnant, you know? I mean, at first, we were both exciting and passionate. You gave me the moon! You took me places I’d never been before! But now, well, we’ve gotten into a rut. We just go to the same place over and over. We never do anything new. We talked about our problems, and I was really hopeful when you started talking about a real moon colony or even a trip to Mars!

A hot virgin

But you put those things off again and again, even though you knew how important they were to me. I need a space program that’s as active and passionate as I am! Now, I know what you’re going to say, and I won’t lie to you. Yes, this is partially about Virgin Galactic, but I don’t know if that’s going to end up being the program for me. I just know I can’t be with you anymore.

I can’t sit here day after day, watching you waste all the money I give you and doing nothing with your life. Other space companies are out there, building spaceports and testing low-cost rockets! And you’re taking a step backward with your old liquid-fuel rocket ideas from the 60s? I don’t know what to say. That’s not the National Aeronautics and Space Program I fell in love with.

Goodbye, NASA.

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Jon Clinkenbeard

About Jon Clinkenbeard

In addition to being Techcitement's Gaming Editor, Jon Clinkenbeard is also an actor and comedian living in New York. He's the founder of Chew York and Dark Little Stories, and he's co-author of The Pirate Treasure of the Himalayas. Jon regularly performs improvised theater around town and you've probably seen him on that show you watch.