Yesterday, the ladies over at The View talked about an Android app that’s been in the news lately. First reported by Gadgetbox, “Is My Son Gay?” has drawn fire for being tasteless and incendiary, with some even calling it dangerous. But is it really that bad?
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Leaving aside for a moment the standard complaints about The View (we’d be here all day), let’s talk about this Android app. There are several major problems with it.
To begin with, let’s address the publisher’s claim that “Is My Son Gay?” was meant to be a humorous affirmation of their son’s possible gay identity. That statement is ludicrous on its face. Asking questions like “During his childhood, was he timid or discreet?” is devoid of any sort of affirmation.
I do understand why he tried to use that excuse, though. A lot of the app’s questions could look harmless to the untrained eye. Spend any time around the “ex-gay” industry though and you find that the tone and content in this app is startlingly close to the standard line of those snake-oil salesmen. Take, for example, this excerpt from a 2006 Celebrate Recovery pamphlet. This organization is loosely organized under the banner of Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church and includes (or has included) “ex-gay” groups.
As children, many of us did not experience the secure love of our father or another male role model. Many of us were abandoned, abused, or ignored by our father or an older man. We were disconnected from other boys and were often called upon to provide emotional support to our mothers. We desperately wanted to fit in with other boys and longed for the attention of a loving father.
It’s important to understand what happens when parents are blamed for their child’s homosexuality. It’s an age-old problem with dire consequences for everyone involved. Here’s an in-depth article on the fallout from a 1970s-era de-gaying test case that is still quoted in some circles today. Here’s the short version: clinically-directed child abuse, weakening of parent-child relationship, eventual suicide.
That brings me to the reason this app is such a problem. It strengthens the perception that A) a boy being less masculine is necessarily bad, B) a boy being less masculine is necessarily gay, and C) a boy being gay is necessarily bad. None of those perceptions are true, and they all lead down a dangerous road. At best, they lead to a boy being isolated for fear of being accused of being gay, even if he isn’t.
At worst, it leads to actual rejection, actual peer abuse (don’t call it bullying), and even actual suicide. Frankly, no app is worth that price.
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