7 Choices Google Should Add To New “I’m Feeling…” Button

Late last week, Google announced an Easter Egg for its main search page (announcing it makes it less of an Easter Egg, but whatever) by adding a random search spinner when a user hovers over the search engine’s “I’m feeling lucky” button. “I’m Feeling Artistic” leads to the Google Art Project, “I’m Feeling Playful” leads to Google’s Pac-Man game, “I’m Feeling Hungry” leads to local restaurant search results, and so on.

It’s an interesting feature, though not terribly useful. After all, if I want to see the latest news I’ll hit the handy News button at the top of the page, not keep hovering and resetting the spinner until it says “I’m Feeling Trendy.” But usefulness isn’t the point, of course. Google managed to do something fun and interesting with an extremely old and largely ignored part of the search giant’s home base.

Kudos to Google for that, but let’s talk about the ones the designers missed. Here are a few of my additions to the new “I’m Feeling…” button.

• I’m Feeling Masochistic: Returns the YouTube video with the most new comments.
• I’m Feeling Lost: Gives you one of the millions of rural locations across America that Google can’t be arsed to get a Street View image of even though they’re making Street View maps of fucking Antarctica now.
• I’m Feeling Sexy: Brings up video search results for hardcore pornography. “Dutch Girls Must Be Punished For Having Big Boobs” would be the first result. (Bonus points if you got the reference without clicking the link.)
• I’m Feeling Pretty: Because any “I’m Feeling…” list that doesn’t have the song from West Side Story isn’t worth reading.
• I’m Feeling Gassy: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fart SoundBoard.
• I’m Feeling Like Losing Half Of My Money In Three Months: Serves up Facebook’s stock ticker. Because twisting the knife is half the fun of winning.
• I’m Feeling Nostalgic: Here’s the Billboard Top 100 from the year you were 12 years old. (Mine for the example.)

That last one could totally work. Google surely knows how old we all are by now, and the company could easily monetize the button with links to the Google Play Music Store. Seriously, Google, I want a cut of this.