Jeremy Goldstone explains in each iteration of The Complaint Department why technology isn’t conforming to his specific needs right now and why that sucks.
First, AT&T put the kibosh on their unlimited data plans in favor of tiers and starting October 1 they are going to begin throttling customers who still have grandfathered unlimited data plans. Because apparently Webster’s dictionary defines the word unlimited as “no restrictions or controls, unless a telecom decides you’re using too much of their bandwidth.”
In fairness, the only thing that makes them different from rival Verizon is that Verizon throttled their unlimited plans first, and then dumped unlimited plans for tiers. That pretty much leaves Sprint as the only nationwide mobile provider offering new unlimited data plans and not throttling bandwidth.
The problem with throttling is that no one knows when they’ve reached the throttle zone. AT&T has some 16 million customers on the unlimited data plan — 31 million smartphone users, minus the 15 million on tiered data plans from the press release. Five percent of that base means about 800,000 people — and if you’re reading this, there’s a better than average chance you’re the kind of user who would fit that profile — aren’t going to be streaming Netflix to their phone any time soon. Going to stream music to your phone? Not without constantly having to rebuffer. Want to watch marketing videos of new cell phones on the AT&T website, so you can buy a new phone from them? Looks like you won’t be able to do that either.
A rough approximation of your data plans under AT&T
It’s the story of the internet — the more awesome it gets, the more the service providers, who generally market their internet access based on said awesomeness, want you to not use it at all. They can’t get the anti-net neutrality laws they want, so they punish their customers on the other end of it. And you sit there and take it, because let’s face it, what’s the alternative? Metro PCS?
The best part of AT&T’s press release is the last line.
“But even as we pursue this additional measure, it will not solve our spectrum shortage and network capacity issues. Nothing short of completing the T-Mobile merger will provide additional spectrum capacity to address these near term challenges.”
Basically, according to AT&T, this measure isn’t going to do squat, and the only way to solve the problem is to let them become a monopoly again. It’s a ballsy final statement. They admit their service is terrible and the only way to fix it is to let AT&T become what it was prior to the 1980s, when it was the only telephone game in town. Seriously, that statement is pure brass balls. “Our latest anti-consumer tactic? Totally worthless. Now let us devour T-Mobile or we’ll drop even more of your calls.” It’s enough to make you wonder why it isn’t T-Mobile doing the purchasing.
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