{"id":17138,"date":"2013-02-25T14:00:16","date_gmt":"2013-02-25T20:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/techcitement.com\/?p=17138"},"modified":"2013-02-25T15:02:08","modified_gmt":"2013-02-25T21:02:08","slug":"your-fork-does-what","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/techcitement.com\/culture\/your-fork-does-what\/","title":{"rendered":"Your Fork Does What?"},"content":{"rendered":"

HAPIfork<\/a> by HAPILABS is evidence that the human population is determined to create utter ridiculousness that exists simply to fill up the drawers in our house and add to our landfills. When I read about this product, all I could think about was how someone spent thousands of dollars from personal savings to develop it and probably never see a return on that investment. If this product takes off, it will take off for about two minutes and then disappear into the ether with all the other health and weight loss trends that do nothing for us.<\/p>\n

The HAPIfork is a smart fork used to measure metrics while you eat. The back of the fork pops off to reveal a USB connection that dumps information onto your computer and sends it to an app that does its best to make the metrics it receives look useful to you. What will you know after you use this digital fork? You\u2019ll know how long you ate for, how long there was between mouthfuls, and how many bites you took. Why you want to know this information, I really don\u2019t know. The fork can\u2019t tell you what you ate or how many calories you ingested. HAPIfork only tells you, in its own opinion, if you ate too fast.<\/p>\n

The problem with this fork is that it doesn\u2019t really help you with anything. Instead, HAPIfork gives you the mindset that healthy eating is related to how many bites you take of whatever it is you\u2019re ingesting. So, you can have 10 bites of fried butter and feel awesome about how little you ate and then feel bad the next meal because you took 28 bites of green beans.<\/p>\n

\"HAPIfork\"<\/a><\/p>\n

What the HapiFORK will do for you, however, is tell you when you eat your fried butter or green beans too fast.\u00a0 When the fork thinks it\u2019s going to and from your mouth too frequently, it starts to vibrate so you know you should slow down. But really, this feature would only encourage me to eat faster because the sensation of my fork vibrating while I\u2019m eating my butter sounds awesome and hilarious. I\u2019m sure the vibration is much more subtle in real life than it is in my head, but still. In addition, there\u2019s an LED on the end of the fork that is green when you\u2019re good to eat and red when you need to slow down, because who doesn\u2019t love to play Red Light Green Light with dinner?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry all you folks on a liquid diet or those who simply like soup. You too can have these useless metrics because there\u2019s a spoon attachment as well. However, I\u2019m not sure how you\u2019re supposed to learn to eat your potato chips, pizza, and sub sandwiches slowly unless HAPILABS creates an implant that would make my hand vibrate when it went to and from my mouth too frequently. In which case, I wouldn\u2019t be using my vibrating hand to eat.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re still set on trying this beeping and jostling instrument out, you can buy the fork for the small fee of $99. SERIOUSLY. That’s $99 for something you\u2019ll use for about a week or that you\u2019ll have for three days before Grandpa Jo sticks it in the dishwasher for you (the fork end detaches from the smart end so you can easily wash it without ruining the\u00a0electronics, but Grandpa Jo doesn\u2019t know that).<\/p>\n